Getting Back on Track: Making Space for What Matters
Tiffany Kromer (Tiffany’s sermons and other reflections are on her blog)
Psalm 8
Mark 10:2-16
During these fall months we are looking at Jesus’ ministry with the theme “Getting Back on Track”. The fall months are some of the busiest months of the year. School begins which means homework and activity after activity after activity begins too. Many of you might find your jobs being more hectic as the end of the year inches closer to us. Or maybe you find yourself in a place where you feel like you’re in a rut or your confused or frustrated about where you are right now in your life. Right now, this fall, is the perfect time to get back on track with your life, to focus on where God is calling you and showing you new possibilities.
And Christ is with us every step of the way as we journey through the gospel of Mark and read about Jesus’ own ministry preaching, teaching, and healing along the road to Jerusalem. We’ve been using these pew cards as a way to mark and follow Jesus’ journey. So far we have traveled with Jesus to Ceasarea Phillipi to Capernaum and today our scripture says Jesus and his disciples are “in the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.” This most likely means that Jesus was in the region of Perea which is now modern day Jordan. Jesus and the disciples would have known Perea to be the place where John the Baptist preached and baptized. During their visit to this region, they must have had John the Baptist on their mind more than ever since recently he was beheaded by Herod Antipas. Ironically, John the Baptist had been beheaded over the very topic the Pharisees question Jesus about in our scripture today—marriage, divorce, and re-marriage. John the Baptist questioned and disapproved Herod’s marriage to his brother’s wife. In our scripture today, the Pharisees question Jesus about his belief on divorce, knowing full well that Jesus’ answer would be controversial no matter what he said simply because there were many Jewish beliefs about divorce as well as many views about divorce in Greek and Roman society at the time.
There were mainly two Jewish schools of thought on the topic of divorce—one school believed that a man could only divorce his wife only in the case of adultery. The other school of thought was that a man could divorce his wife for almost any reason. Notice that in Jewish law, only a man can file for divorce. But secular society at that time deemed it lawful for women to also file for divorce. Matthew quotes Jesus talking about the subject of divorce, contradicting Jesus’ words in Mark about divorce. In Matthew, Jesus says that “if anyone divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a divorce woman commits adultery.” Jesus also says that “everyone who looks at a women with lust in the heart already has committed adultery with her.”
The reason why I point out these varied statements is not to confuse you more, but to say that I think our scripture today easily reveals an ugly elephant in the room that has the capacity to deter us from seeing Jesus’ message to us today. I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that most of us have experience with divorce, whether it be first-hand experience or if you know a friend or family member who has gone through a divorce. And I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that no one gets married with the intention to be divorced. And although divorce may need to happen for the safety of a child or spouse, I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that divorce is a horrible and disappointing experience for all parties involved. All this being said, I can imagine that many of us upon first reading this passage may want to say to Jesus, “C’mon Jesus, you’re being a little harsh. If a divorced person gets remarried, they are committing adultery?!” That was my initial reaction.
But let’s give Jesus a chance, here. This is the point where I cling to the fact that I am called to take the Bible seriously–not literally, but seriously. And as a preacher, I cannot ignore this passage, even though I can tell you I literally cringed and wanted to run away from preaching on this passage the second I found out what it was.
So, enough stalling—let’s dig into this passage. Underneath the Pharisees instigating a debate about divorce, Jesus’ words this morning point to the heart of his ministry and core beliefs about God. His words point to our relationships. Instead of focusing on what the Pharisees think he should focus on—the legal, technical language of divorce—Jesus turns the conversation back to the heart of the matter which is the fact that relationships matter. And Jesus reminds the Pharisees that relationships have mattered since the very beginning of creation, where God was in a perfect relationship with human beings and where human beings could then show God’s love to another in a bond of partnership and unity. In its ideal, marriage epitomizes God’s intention for human beings to love one another deeply, to establish a life-long covenant with someone. In the marriage covenant, it is easy to see similarities to God’s covenant with us. Through Jesus Christ, we see a God who has promised to love and honor us through our life and beyond, a God who is willing to become human and sacrifice Godself on a cross and claim victory over death to show us how much God loves us.
Instead of focusing on divorce, Jesus points to the fact that God created us to bond deeply with another person, so much so that that bond is still there even when divorce papers are final. A divorced couple is bonded through the memories of a wedding kiss or in the times when the marriage overflowed with mushy happiness or the times when a marriage was strengthened during tragedy. A divorced couple also bonded to each other through the painful, hurtful memories that caused a well-intended marriage to crumble. Frederick Buechner once said “You can kiss your family and friends goodbye, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, and your stomach because you do not just live in a world, a world lives in you.”
Relationships matter and when they break, it points to our own brokenness but it also points to possibilities for us to allow God set up shop in us and start the long process of healing our broken hearts.
Notice that our gospel passage this morning does not solely focus on the divorce topic. At first glance, it seems as though an entirely new story is introduced to us, seemingly distracting us from the divorce passage above it. This passage conjours up a beautiful picture for most of us—of cute children laughing and playing around Jesus, of parents lovingly bringing their children to Jesus for them to be blessed. Yet, children were not seen as “cute” or “fun” in the 1st century. Children were seen as weak and were quickly dismissed and overlooked. Yet, Jesus uses children as examples of the only way to enter the kingdom, as the right way to treat people.
By acknowledging the priority of children, Jesus is also saying “relationships matter.” The disciples shoo the children away when they come to be with Jesus—yet Jesus makes his relationships to the most vulnerable his priority. The conversation about divorce also highlights Jesus’ concern for the vulnerable. Notice that Hebrew law gives the right for the man to divorce his wife, not the other way around. Women in the first century were seen as property, simply a transaction between two families. Therefore, if a first century women is divorced she will be seen by her family as a transaction gone wrong. Can you imagine?! Women and children were the most vulnerable in 1st century society. Yet, Jesus points out that all relationships matter and all people deserve to be treated with dignity and love.
By not being afraid to talk about the controversial issue of divorce, by not being afraid to welcome the most vulnerable in society—Jesus gives us a powerful vision for how we should be in relationship with each other.
Jesus calls us to be in healthy, bonded relationships with one another. How do we know what a healthy relationship is? Jesus tells us the answer as he talks with the Pharisees and his disciples in our passage today. Healthy relationships reveal God’s love. Healthy relationships take a lot of hard work- so much so that two individual people with different minds, ways of doing things, habits, and personalities must live a life of unity which requires a lot of give and take, forgiveness, communication, and—most importantly—living in a healthy relationship with God which requires faith and the willingness to see our brokenness in order to see God’s sustaining unconditional love and grace moving us to love one another.
Think about the closest relationships with your life…would you describe these relationships healthy or do they need work?
Do you make space for the closest relationships in your life—for your spouse? For your children?
Making space means that you save enough energy in your day and week to include time and love with the closest people in your life.. This may mean figuring out how to plan your day where you make quality time with your family, where you can turn off your cell phone and play a silly game with your kids or sit down for dinner with your family or go on a date with your spouse. I think Whinnie the Pooh and Piglet embody this best. One day Piglet went up to Pooh and whispered, “Pooh!” “Yes, Piglet?” asked Pooh. “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” Are the people closest to you, sure of you?
What about those in your life that you easily dismiss? Who are the vulnerable people you encounter in your life? They may not be the homeless man on the street, it may be the person in the cublicle next to you who How can you welcome them and be in relationship with vulnerable people you may initially feel uncomfortable or awkward around?
Do you need help with healing a relationship in your life? Is there a broken relationship that you carry in your heart, your mind and your stomach that causes regret, anger, resentment,or bitterness in your life? It’s never too late to start the healing process–to talk to a pastor, counselor or close friend–to get yourself back on track with your life and your relationships.
We were created to be in relationship. If our relationship with God or others or with the earth or even with ourselves is broken—it affects all the relationships in our lives. As we come to the communion table today, Christ invites us to a loving, healthy relationship with God, one that will set the stage for growing healthy, loving relationships in our lives.
And I think we know what Jesus Christ would have done if a divorced man or woman came to him feeling alone and confused. I think he would have made a point to let that person know that they are loved unconditionally by God and welcomed fully into the kingdom of God. And then he would have pointed to a child to drive home his point and say”Let the little children come to me– all who are weary, all who are vulnerable or scared, all the world we easily dismiss–do not stop them because it is such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. God makes space that you deem not important, annoying and small. You are called to do the same.” AMEN